


Honeymoon Phase

by perniciousLizard



Series: Fired Up and Bone Weary [23]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, Honeymoon, M/M, a little drama, communication issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-20 20:27:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9512369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perniciousLizard/pseuds/perniciousLizard
Summary: Sans and Grillby take a trip.  Grillby goes on a plane for the first time.





	1. Chapter 1

Sans shoved two t-shirts and a pair of socks in a carry-on, and settled down on the bed, ready to call packing over and done with.  His tail bone had barely hit the mattress when he remembered how sunny it was going to be in the desert.  He tracked down a baseball cap and a pair of sunglasses, and tossed them in with the t-shirts.  Now he was set.  

Grillby was staring at him.  Sans couldn’t blame him.  He had to be admiring Sans’ efficiency.  Grillby’s suitcase was wide open and completely empty.

“…are you taking a break?  Or are you done?”

“done and done,” Sans said.  "i’ll toss in some toothpaste the day of."

Grillby paced around the room for a few more minutes, taking out clothes and looking them over.  Occasionally, he folded something and set it near the suitcase.  

He kept looking over at Sans.  

Sans was starting to nod off when Grillby asked, "Why aren’t you bringing any pants?”

That was a pretty fair question.  "i’ll have whatever i wear on the plane,“ Sans pointed out.  

Grillby’s glasses stayed aimed right at him.

"don’t think they’ll let me on without anything.”  Sans closed his eye sockets.  

“……….” Grillby started to say something, but for a beautiful moment, Sans thought he decided to let it go.  

He felt something drop onto the bed next to him.  Sans rubbed his skull and sat up to look.  Grillby had another suitcase.  It was smaller, but it looked like it came from the same set as the other one.  

“…one shirt for every day,” Grillby said.  "…more than one pair of pants.  And something nicer for dinner."

"man.  it’s vacation, remember?”  

“…don’t make me look at the same three shirts for fourteen days on _my_ vacation,” Grillby said.  

Well, it was a honeymoon, so Sans supposed he should be a little nice to the guy he was going with.  "what’s the point in dressing up, though?  from what i hear, this kind of trip you don’t leave the room much."  He winked.  

"We’re eating out,” Grillby said.  "You’ll just sleep if we stay inside and get room service the whole time.  You’ll have more energy if you leave occasionally."

Sans figured that there was a good reason why you weren’t supposed to live with a guy for three years before you went on your big honeymoon.  Grillby knew him too well to let him get away with anything.  

His suitcase was still pretty empty by the time he was really done, but he decided that meant he’d have lots of room to put in cheesy souvenirs for Tori and the kid, so he didn’t mind too much hauling it to the airport.  

 

–

 

Grillby tried to hide that he was excited to go on a plane.  Sans could see him carefully covering up his anticipation in tiny ways.  

"hey, first time in the air, right?”  Sans asked.  

“…we’ll see.”

Grillby didn’t think they would actually let him on board.  He gave Sans the blandest look he could muster.  He was the master of those.  

But when he was excited or invested in going somewhere, Grillby spent some time thinking about how he was going to dress.  The logic behind his decisions was beyond Sans, but he could tell there was an effort being made.

Grillby was dressing very carefully for a lot of sitting in an airport.  

“we’ve been through this.  they said they’ll let you on, already.”  

“I’ll believe it when we’re actually there.”  

They were aware that Grillby was fire.  That had been clarified repeatedly.  There had been some question, originally, if it would be safe to let someone made of fire on a plane, but that was all resolved.

Humans who weren’t used to monsters were uneasy around Sans, but they got along with him pretty quick.  It seemed to take them a little longer to get used to Grillby.  Sans wasn’t sure how you could spend two minutes around the guy and still see him as a threat, but most people were more flammable than a skeleton.  Maybe he was just missing some natural instinct.  

Grillby kept trying to hide that he was excited to be in the airport.  Sans wasn’t fooled, but he was a little confused.  He looked around and all he saw were bored, tired people.  He wondered what Grillby was seeing.  

“neat, right?” Sans asked.  

Grillby shrugged.  He probably wasn’t going to admit to anything until the plane took off.  

“this is pretty new.”  Sans had gone on planes a few times, with the kid.  

One time they’d been on an overnight flight and he’d woken up and looked out the window and it’d just been stars as far as he could see.  Not a single cloud.  That’d been something.  

He hoped Grillby settled down and let himself enjoy the ride.  

Grillby nodded, but didn’t say anything.  They worked their way through different lines.  They were far from the only monsters on their flight, which seemed to make Grillby relax.  He was the only fire elemental, but some of the other guys looked like types who might also run into trouble.  

Sans spotted a woman fast asleep in one of the uncomfortable looking chairs scattered around.  He had to push down his envy.  That’d be him, soon enough.  If he nodded off before security, it’d be a rush later on.  Grillby couldn’t just carry him through.  

He started towards their gate as soon as they’d jumped all their hurdles, but Grillby headed over to one of the big glass windows where he could see planes landing and taking off.  Sans reluctantly trailed after him.  

After a minute, Sans sat down on the ledge in front of the window and leaned against the glass.  That was a million times better than standing.  "you got a thing for planes you never mentioned?“  He needed to come up with some plane jokes quick or Grillby would lose faith in him.  He hadn’t prepared in advance.  He guessed he’d have to _wing it._

"No.”  He noticed Sans laughing to himself.  "What’s so funny?"  Grillby always sounded so tired when he asked that question.  Like he knew he’d regret the answer but considered it a marital obligation to ask.  

"now that we’re past security, things are _looking up_ , right?” Sans tried.  

“They _were_ ,” Grillby said.  

Sans stretched his legs out.  Grillby seemed content by the window, so he might as well get as comfortable as he could.  "wait.  i got a good one."

Grillby examined him, considering.

"what’s that look supposed to mean?  like, ‘let me be the judge of that?’ sure.  get ready to have your socks knocked off.”  

“……I’m ready.”  

“what do you call it when you get sick in the airport?”  

“……”

“a terminal illness.”  

“……”

“pretty good, right?”

“I’m still ready.”  

“yeah, i guess your socks are still solidly on there.  i’ll give it another shot.”  

Grillby shrugged.  

“there’s this first time flier who’s a little nervous, and he sits down on the plane and asks the lady next to him, 'hey, how often do rigs like this one go down?’  she says 'usually, just once.’”  

“…” He shook his head, but Sans could tell he hadn’t hated that one.  

“oh, hey.  those might’ve been a little dark for your first trip.”

“I’m not nervous,” he said.  He looked back out the window.  

“all right.”  Sans turned enough to watch tiny humans in the distance moving around one of the huge jets, getting it ready for take off. What part of this was so interesting?  He knew what he liked about them, but Grillby never had the same reason he did.  

 

–-

 

Despite Grillby’s worries, the plane took off with them on board.  Sans had spent the last hour and a half asleep, so he was rested enough to watch the takeoff from their tiny window.  There was nothing quite like seeing the sky from the air.  Sans didn’t think he could ever get tired of it.  

Sans expected Grillby to be looking out the window with him, but he kept staring straight forward.  

Sans nudged him.  "hey.  the pilot’s probably done this a million times.“

Grillby started.  "I’m…really not nervous,” he said.  

“okay.”

“It’s…” Grillby was struggling to figure out how to put it, so Sans decided to wait him out.  "…the engines are…neat?"

"oh, right.”  Grillby liked the combustion part of internal combustion engines, but he had yet to figure out how to explain what was so great about them to Sans.  "i bet."

They were both quiet.  Grillby zoned out again, but Sans knew what he was doing and didn’t worry about it.  After a little while, Sans started to snicker to himself.  

”…what?"  That got Grillby’s attention.  

"uh. you…you really got a thing for big engines, huh, grillbz.”

“…shush.”

“look.   don’t deny it.  i got your number.”  

“Why would I….Sans, I don’t get the joke.”

“there’s no joke.  it’s just hilarious.”

“……why?”

“i bet i should be jealous.”  

Grillby stared at him.  

“do you zone out and think about me like that?  nope.  what’s that engine got that i don’t?”

“I…”

“if i drank a bottle a hot sauce, maybe then you’d love me that much.”

“Sans.”

“but maybe that’s just a dream.”  

“Sans.   I will never love you in the same way…I love enormous airplane engines.”  

“i shoulda known.”

Grillby put his arm around Sans’ shoulders.  

“but you love me in a different way that’s better, right?”

“No.”

Sans cracked up.  

“But I can’t legally marry them, so…”  He pulled Sans against him into a hug.  

“take what you can get, right?”  

“Exactly.”

Grillby left his arm around Sans’ shoulders.  Sans slept leaning against him for most of the flight.  His spinal cord felt like it’d been twisted into a pretzel when they landed.  


	2. Chapter 2

“…I don’t care.”  Grillby got out of the taxi.  Their driver started taking their luggage out of the trunk.  

“look. there’s barely anything to me,” Sans said.  "it’d be easy for a big guy like you."

"You have legs.”  

“feel like i wish i didn’t.”  Every seat Sans had sat in since he left home had been designed to cause him maximum pain.  

That at least earned him a sympathetic look, but Grillby was firm otherwise.  "I’m not carrying you."

"see, that’s the genius of it.  with the handle up, your suitcase is like a little chair for me.  it’s perfect.  just roll me to our room.”

“No.”

“i’d do it for you.  if you switched things around.”  

“I’m probably more sore than you are,” Grillby said.  "So, fine."

"shoot.   you called my bluff.”  He patted Grillby’s arm.  "aw.   your back hurt, buddy?"

"The seats on the plane…”  He shook his head.  "Suffocating."

That was an odd way to put it, but Grillby often found small spaces "suffocating” instead of “cramped.”  

“but it was good otherwise, right?”

He nodded.  

Grillby paid the driver and started dragging both suitcases into the main building.  Sans carried the small carry-ons, since Grillby was feeling sore.  He couldn’t wait until they checked in and he could just take a shortcut to their room.  He would have done that in the first place, but he had no idea what number they were in.  

It was for the best Sans didn’t just skip check-in.  Grillby had trouble getting the woman working at the desk to understand him.  Sans did the talking and Grillby just handed her their paperwork.  

There was a sign up advertising free internet in the lobby, and an older human woman was making use of it nearby.  She kept glancing over, and when they finished up at the main desk, she closed her laptop like she had something to say.  

“hey,” Sans said.    

“We don’t see skeletons come through here,” she said.  "His type, though, all the time.“  She nodded at Grillby.  She told them that if they went out into the desert, they’d find a few fire elementals living there.  

"…it’s nice," Grillby said.  

"he says it’s nice here,” Sans said.  "lotsa, uh, heat and dry air.  not a lotta rain."  She seemed friendly enough, so he gave her a proper introduction.

Grillby covered his face with his hands when the whoopee cushion went off.  

She chuckled.  "I haven’t had anyone pull that one on me since I was in grade school.  I feel young again, so thank you.”

“always happy to help.”  Sans winked.  

“What’re you here for?” she asked, curious.  "Some just stop in on the way to the city."

"……" Grillby valiantly attempted to participate in the conversation. "…honeymoon."

"we just got married,” Sans said.  She didn’t look like she had even realized Grillby said anything.  

“Oh,” she said, a little surprised.  "Congratulations, then."

Sans had a weird realization.  From now on, everyone they met who met them together was going to think of them first as a unit.  Sans and Grillby.  There’d been a little of that when they went out on dates, but marriage was a different level.  

They got out of the lobby and brought their things to their room.  Grillby went straight over to the air conditioning unit and switched it off.  The room heated up almost immediately.  Sans flopped down on the bed and kicked off his shoes.  "i’m done.”

Grillby leaned over him.  "…hello, Done."

"that’s it.  you’re officially the best,” Sans said.  More than one person could be the best, he decided, so he wasn’t insulting his brother.  

“How’s your back?”  

“eh.  how’s yours?”

“Fine, now.”  He stretched.  The desert air had perked him right up.  

“how big you think you’ll get?” Sans asked.  "i’m not sleeping in the world’s ugliest armchair over there  just ‘cause you like the weather."

"Not that big,” he said, amused.  "And…I kind of like the chair. Everything in here is ugly and dated.  It matches."

"and isn’t that what really matters?”  

Grillby nodded.  He knelt on the bed next to Sans and gestured for him to roll over.  "It’s your spine?"

"yeah.”  Well, the sheets were clean and Grillby was rubbing down his back for him.  Things were pretty ok.  There wasn’t a lot of pressure in Grillby’s massages, but there was plenty of heat, and Sans started to unwind.  "you think you’ll meet any relatives out in the desert?"

"I doubt it.”  He was concentrating on the back of Sans’ neck. “Don’t fall asleep.”

“hwha?  me?”  Sans was already half out of it.  

“…if you fall asleep, I’ll fall asleep.  And then we’ll be trying to find food at midnight.”

“sounds good,” Sans mumbled.  The next thing he knew, he was waking up in a room it took him a second to remember.  Grillby was a fiery lump next to him.  He checked the clock.  12:03.  Grillbz was psychic.  

He rolled out of bed and went into Grillby’s carry-on.  He remembered him shoving a lot of food in there before the long drive to their hotel.  All he found were empty packages.  

Sans headed towards the door.  

“…where are you going?”  The rustling must have woken Grillby up.  He fumbled around for his glasses.  

“vending machine in the lobby.”

“…take all the singles and change out of my wallet.”

“i think it took fives.”

“Those, too, then.”  

Sans nodded.  He was on a mission.  None of the hotels in the area even really had room service, so they really were out of luck until the morning.  

The next day, they stopped at a grocery store so Grillby didn’t buy out the hotel vending machines and waste all his cash before they went home. They unpacked Sans’ nearly empty suitcase and used it as food storage.  

\--

“i think i’ve got, uh, jet lag,” Sans said.  He held his pillow over his head and clung to it.  

“You didn’t mention it at breakfast,” Grillby pointed out.  His hand was on Sans’ tibia.  Was he thinking about grabbing Sans and yanking him off the bed?  Sans wasn’t sure, but the hand was making him nervous.  

“well, that would just’ve felt like, uh, midnight to me, so–”

“That is completely wrong.  It should’ve felt like…”  Grillby checked his phone.  "One in the afternoon.  It would now be three."

"i always take a nap around now.  and, anyway, i’m just all mixed up.”

“We have to rent a car.”  

Sans groaned, like Grillby had just asked him to go hiking.  "why?"

"It’s too hot.  The bus to the park is mostly elderly human tourists.  I don’t want to kill them.”  

“eh, they’ve probably had a good run.  and if not, heh, well think of it like you’re lending ‘em a hand.”

“Sans.”

“you don’t have a license, buddy.”  

“I know.”  

Sans groaned, again.  Getting a license had been the worst decision of Sans’ life.  It wasn’t going to expire for _years_ , and everyone kept asking him to do stuff.  He’d only gotten it because Tori wanted him to go with her on a three-day trip with Frisk and some of their teen friends.  She’d wanted him along, but only had room to take one adult, and that adult was going to have to let her get a break from driving.  He’d told her he would meet her there, but she wanted him around to make the drive less boring for her.  How could he turn her down?  

He should’ve.  It’d been a great trip, sure.  A whole lotta laughs.  But they didn’t make licenses that expired in a week so no one else could ask you to do anything.

Papyrus had initially been against the idea, worried that Sans would fall asleep driving, but when Sans came back alive he’d jumped on board completely and kept talking about Sans getting a real car and trying to drag him out to dealerships.

“I should have thought of this ahead of time, but I haven’t gone on a lot of vacations since we reached the surface.”

“or ever.  are we on one right now?”  Sans moved the pillow and rolled onto his back.  Grillby let go of his leg and hovered over him.  He had changed since Sans’ post-breakfast nap, and had on the sweet Hawaiian shirt Sans had bought for him, just for the trip.  Oh, man.  

Sans sat up.  Grillby had shorts on, too.  He looked _perfect_.  Sans couldn’t let him down.  

“No,” Grillby said.  

“i guess there’s no point getting taxis all the time if one of us can drive,” Sans said.  It was painful to admit.  Maybe he could drop the license somewhere halfway through the trip.  There’d be no way Grillby would suggest he replace it until they got home, right?  

Grillby nodded.  "Are you ready?“

Sans didn’t plan on getting all fancied up like Grillby.  "yep.”

Grillby put on a pair of sunglasses.  

“gotta protect your eyes from all that light,” Sans said, snickering.  

“Yes.” He was very solemn.  

Sans found his own sunglasses – a cheap, oversized pair with pink plastic frames – and put them on.  He had to tape them to his face since they were just garbage he picked up at a party store.  Grillby got out a sun visor and set it on Sans’ head and nodded in approval.

“thanks. gotta complete the look.”  

“………cute.”  Grillby leaned down and then abruptly stood straight up again, rubbing his back.  

“you’re a lot taller than yesterday, huh.”

“There’s one problem with that.”  His chest moved like he was taking a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.  

“no, wait.  got an easy answer.”  

“…the best kind.”  He watched Sans, curious.

Sans climbed up on the bed and stood on it.  Grillby came over and didn’t have to lean to kiss him.  

“see?   easy.”  

“Just carry a step stool with you everywhere.”  

“just pull a whole ladder outta my inventory.”  

“…what a…romantic image.”  

“right?”

“I’m overcome by it,” he said, monotone.  

“picture us walkin’ down the sidewalk.  i pull out a four foot stepladder from the ol’ cell phone inventory and climb up on it.  you’re uh…what’s the fancy word for when you pass out?  'cause you’re just feeling so romantic?”

“Heat stroke.”

“there we go.”  

“I hope I keep it together long enough.”

“me too.  we’re blocking pedestrians.”

Grillby rubbed under his sunglasses, laughing.  "If you ever actually do this, I’m…pretending I’ve never met you."

"kissing strangers, grillbz?  you’re a married man.”  

“…god.”

Sans could feel the extra heat from Grillby’s good mood when he bent him back to kiss him.  He accidentally knocked Sans’ visor off and they forgot it on the bed when they left.  


	3. Chapter 3

Sans stepped out of the rental car and stretched.  He really was going to have to put the kibosh on driving them everywhere.  He couldn’t comfortably reach the pedals and see over the wheel without straining his back in that car.  

There were a few other cars parked at the overlook point, but it wasn’t the busiest season for the park.  It was extra hot, so humans and most monsters risked heat stroke if they weren’t careful.  

Grillby was already heading towards the edge of the crater.  Sans took a shortcut and met him by a “Use Caution Near the Edge” sign.

“hey, grillbz, what if i went over and made that ‘falling for you’ line kinda literal." 

"No.”

“hey, we’re on a _trip_ , right?  heh.”

Grillby stared at him.  "No.  I’m vetoing those jokes.“  

"aw. since when can you do that?  when did i vote for you?”  

“They’re depressing.”  

Ok, maybe he had a point.  Sans should keep the death jokes to a bare minimum on their honeymoon.  "you know what was _really_ depressing, though?  whatever made this crater."  He winked. He’d change the subject, but just for Grillby.  "guess a volcano.”  

“That’s what it was.”  Grillby walked much closer to the edge than Sans had, taking a long look over it.  

“there’s a meteor one 'bout seven hours from here,” Sans said.  He’d like to see one of those, some day.  Get a real sense of what something could do when it came flying in from space.  

Grillby nodded and Sans went over to stand next to him.  

“pretty cool,” Sans said.  Here, magma had hit water and exploded. Grillby probably got a weird satisfaction out of looking at the results of that.  

A human family trudged up the path towards them.  They took a bunch of pictures of everyone in front of the view.  Sans remembered being told to take lots of pictures.  Eh.  He’d gotten a great shot of Grillby in front of the nearly empty vending machine that morning, so he was good.  

The nearby overlook bench was calling to him, so he left Grillby to do his thing and went to rest his tired bones.  

The oldest human came over and sat next to him.  The rest of her group seemed like they were only a few minutes from heading out, so Sans and the human made small talk.

“Your friend really appreciates a nice view,” she said.  "Makes me dizzy, to be honest."

Sans tried out a few of his vetoed jokes on a more receptive audience.  

She turned an odd color.  "Oh, uh, I’m sorry.  I don’t want to think too much about falling.”

Everyone had to be a critic.  "you and the other half’d get along," Sans said, nodding at Grillby.  "but he’s imagining the volcano going off and he looks pretty peaceful so i’d let him be.”  

The human looked Sans over, and then turned to examine Grillby.  Sans wasn’t sure, suddenly, why he’d felt the need to casually correct the “friend” comment from earlier.  Who cared, really?  Apparently he did.  

After a long, contemplative silence, the human said, “Lots of people come up here for their anniversaries, I hear.  I don’t know why. Would’ve told my husband to find a new wife and take her if he suggested the idea to me.”  

“he was pretty set on a desert for the honeymoon.  fire thing.  eh, it’s fine.  heights don’t get to me and look at 'im.  he’s glowing.”  Sans winked.

“You two seem like a good match,” she said, deadpan.  Before Sans could register the joke, she noticed her family waving at her and got up and left.

Sans watched his new best friend just walk away, without even looking back.  That was the way vacations were, though, he figured.  People made bad jokes and then ran off before you could even swap contact information.  

Grillby turned away from the edge and sat down next to Sans.  "…nice talk?"

"she made a pun and then just left,” Sans said.

Grillby patted him on the back.  "I’m sorry.“

"you don’t meet people like that every day.”  

“…maybe you’ll meet again.”

“nah.”

Grillby got their second lunches out of his inventory and reheated them.  They were the only ones around, now.   Sans drew his legs up onto the bench and leaned against Grillby while they ate.  

He spilled some food on Grillby’s pant leg and Grillby poked a napkin partially into Sans’ eye socket, so he wouldn’t forget to wipe his mouth again.  Sans left it there and accidentally spilled some more food on Grillby’s arm a few minutes later.  

“………why?” It was all Grillby would ask.  

“that’s pretty deep.  gettin philosophical on me, grillbz?”

“……” He started to say something.  He wiped off his leg and gave up.  

“guess staring into a pit’s gonna make a guy go deep.”  Sans pulled the napkin out of his eye socket and helped wipe up Grillby’s arm.  

He shook his head.  "………anyway."

Sans finished off the rest of his sandwich while he waited for Grillby to say whatever was on his mind.  

”…Sans. Is there something you want to do?“  

"like, right now?”

“I planned this and I wanted to come here.  Is there someplace you want to see?”

"eh.  i’m fine with sitting in the hotel room, or sitting out here.  i’m a pretty exciting date.”  

“…there’s nothing?”

Sans stretched his arms up over his head.  "nah.  i guess i’d like to stick around until the sun sets.  that’d be nice.  you don’t get much time off, so hanging around with you doing nothing is more fun for me than you’re thinking."

He nodded.  

Sans told him that he was starting to get an idea of the area, so if he wanted to come back to the same spot again without the car, Sans had him covered.  Grillby told him he’d feel stranded since all the sights were so far from the hotel.  

They waited around for the sun to set.  Grillby had finally gotten an inventory upgrade, and as far as Sans could tell he was using it entirely to carry snacks.  That was fine with Sans.

"oh, hey, i got an idea.  i want to try out that, uh, classy looking theme bar we passed by.”

“…classy? …you don’t mean the 'saloon.’”  

“that’s the one.  i bet they’ve got one of those bulls people try to ride.” He nudged Grillby.  "you know everything’ll be wood in there. you’ll like it."

"You’re going to be disappointed.  But, why not?”

“you got some kind of bar sense, grillbz?  you can just glance at a place going past 50 mph and know it’ll be trash?”

“Yes.”

“i’m not sure why you think i’ve got standards, though.”  

“You married me.  I just don’t think they’ll have a bull.”

“then i can walk in and go 'no bull?  that’s bull.’  that’s even better.”

“…do you want to try to ride one?”

Sans snorted.  "no way.  i want to see someone fall on their butt."

”…I should get one for mine."

"oh man.”  He knew Grillby was kidding, but he wanted to dream that he wasn’t.  

“……your friend would break it.”  

“not a lotta people know how much big mouth hates bull rides.”

“You know who I mean.”

“ok.  but when does undy even stop in there?”

“She shows up around…once a month.  Usually you aren’t there.”

“why’d she – oh.  yeah."  She wouldn't want paps to know how much grease she liked to eat.

“She started out saying she was ordering for her 'friends…’ and then she would go behind the restaurant and eat in the alley.”

Sans snickered.

“Now she just orders half the menu and sits in the back.”

“yeah, she’d murder your bull.  sorry.”  

“…before it even…got a chance to live.”

“you’re gonna make me tear up, buddy.”  

The sun was starting to set.  Grillby put his arm around Sans’ shoulders.

“yeah, this is nice,” Sans said.  

“You’re happy you came here?   With me?”

That shouldn’t be something Grillby was worried about.  "yup.“  

Grillby seemed to burn higher as they watched the sun set over the crater.  

 

\--

 

Sans had to admit: Grillby wasn’t wearing the bathing suit _Sans_ would’ve picked for him, but he had good taste.  They were a dark navy blue with lighter blue flames up one side.  The joke was a little obvious, and Sans wasn’t even sure Grillby had gotten the one with flames as a joke, but they fit tight enough that Sans decided he could let any humor deficiencies pass by.  

They had set out their enormous beach blanket near a joshua tree.  They both had sunglasses on and Sans was wearing his visor.  Grillby had brought a sun hat, too, but it was set near them by their umbrella.  

Grillby was stretched out, dozing.  He was posed like he was trying to get a tan.  Sans woke him up trying to protect him from getting burned. The suntan lotion just sizzled when it touched Grillby’s bare shoulder.  

“……”  Grillby was too out of it to put his words together.

“i’m just trying to protect you, buddy,” Sans said, snickering.  

Grillby stared at the suntan lotion in Sans’ phalanges and, faster than Sans had ever seen him move, he tried to snatch the tube away.  Sans just barely got away in time.  

“…I need to…protect you, too,” Grillby said.

“aw. that’s ok, though.”  

Grillby sat up and stretched.  His prescription sunglasses were still pointed directly at Sans.  Again, with barely any warning, he jumped at him.  Sans got out of the way in time, but if he’d had more time to think, he probably would have just let himself be caught.  

“uh.”

“…I have to keep you safe.”  

“ok.”

Grillby sat up again and brushed sand off himself.  Sans could see him plotting another move, now. Sans thought he’d either try to shoot the lotion out of Sans’ hand or use an area attack.  He could dodge both of ‘em, but the area attack would be a pain.  Grillby obviously wasn’t trying to do any damage, so it’d just be a little warm.  Maybe he’d let himself get hit and play like he’d been done in.  Let the lotion fall slow from his hand.  Figure out some good puns.  Wait, no.  He’d promised no death jokes, _shit_. 

But Grillby had a move Sans hadn’t even thought of.  

“…….Sans,” he said, “……please?”  

“that’s cheating,” Sans said.  

Grillby took the bottle and squeezed out lines on Sans’ cheeks with it, like he was applying toothpaste to his face.  "…there.“

"you have no idea how this stuff works, do you, grillbz?”  

“I don’t feel like putting gloves on.”  He lay back down.  

Sans settled in next to him.  "this is exactly what it’s like to hang out on the beach," Sans said.  "minus the water.”

“Really?”

“nah.”

–

Grillby woke Sans up when the first star appeared.  

“when’d it get so dark?”  Sans asked.  

Grillby peeled the tape off Sans’ sunglasses and took them off for him.  

“yeah, it’s still pretty dark,” Sans said, laughing.  

“The guide said it’s one of the darkest spots in the country.”  

“huh.”  He put his arms behind his head and kept his eye sockets pointed upward.  "neat.“

”…you can’t do much about me, though."  Grillby knew he ruined night vision.  

"eh.  wouldn’t want to.”  He glanced over.  "though i bet i could toss a blanket over your face and that’d fix the problem."

"No, you couldn’t.”  

“we’ve got an extra.”

“It’s a shame there’s no way to fix this.”  

“or we could wrap you up in the big one like a burrito.”  

“I’m sorry there’s no solution.”  

“bury you in the sand.  pretend it’s a real beach trip.”

“If I went to the car, that might work.”

“i guess you’re right.  there’s no fix to this.”  

They stayed outside for much longer than Grillby intended.  They had to wait until the last of the light disappeared from the horizon, and Sans could pick out his favorite constellations.  The real ones, and the ones he had made up.  He pointed out the planets that were visible.  

“wonder how many monsters live around here,” Sans said.  

“Do you want to live here?”  Grillby asked, amused.

“nope.  but you’ve been in such a good mood, maybe you do.  open up  _grilltwo_ around here.”  

“If I was going to open another restaurant, it’d be someplace cold.”

“just limit it to the guys who don’t care about the heat.  who cares?”

“I don’t _want_ to go bankrupt, Sans.”  He leaned over him, blocking his view for a second.  "…why are you interested?  You’d have to move."

"eh. you just seem to like it here, is all.”  He shaded his eye sockets from the glare.

“I do.  But…what could I add here?  They already have bars.  I like this heat, but…I’d miss everything else.”   Even the changing temperatures, after a while.  He wouldn’t miss the rain, though.  To hell with water falling randomly from the sky.  

The big thing was, though, he couldn’t see what good he could do in a place like this.  What did they need, that he could help with?  So long as there wasn’t a ton of rain, he wanted to go someplace where a group of monsters was thinking about settling.  He had given it some thought, and he could be really useful in that kind of situation. More useful than he felt in the city, anymore.  

That was in the future, though.  Sans seemed to accept that they would move, at some point, but Grillby was sure he wanted to stay in the area until Frisk graduated.  Grillby thought he’d ask how far they could go where it wouldn’t be a pain in the tailbone for Sans to take a shortcut to visit Toriel occasionally, but Sans was so cagey about his magic Grillby didn't know if he would get a real answer.  

“oops.”

Grillby started and looked down at him, again.

“didn’t mean to kill the mood.”

“…I’m just thinking.”  He moved away, so Sans could see the sky.  "I’m not deciding anything for a long time."

"put it off 'til later, right?  sounds like a good plan to me.”  

“I have to decide what I want, yet.  And you have to tell me what you want.”  

“yeah.  i like where we are, but i don’t think you do, so.  probably has to be someplace we’ll both like, right?”  

“I do still miss Snowdin.  Sometimes.”  

“parts of it.”  He sat up and rubbed at his eye sockets.  Grillby must really have hurt his eyes, leaning right over him.  "i think it’s more some of the people i miss, than anything else."

"Right.”

“that’s just how it is, though.  no going back.”  He turned his head away.  Grillby thought, for a second, that Sans thought something was going to argue with him.  Like maybe they would suddenly go back in time because he said that.  

Nothing changed.  

“…right.”

“i wouldn’t mind living someplace with a sky like this, though.  if you’re asking what i want.”  

“I am.”  

“uh, what else?  need room for my sock collection.”

“Of course.”  

“priority one, right?”  

Sans was kidding, but Grillby really wanted to give him more space. Grillby and Papyrus had taken both of the extra rooms and Sans couldn’t do much in the “communal spaces” (as Papyrus called them) without getting yelled at for being messy.  

“……yes.”

Grillby was the one to fall asleep first, this time.  Sans woke him up near daybreak.  They gathered up their things and stopped at a tiny hole in the wall on the way back to the hotel for breakfast.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to the person who wanted to see Grillby defending Sans. I don't remember who suggested it, but the idea stuck with me.

Grillby had to admit that the owners of the theme bar had gone further to stick with their theme than he’d anticipated.  The outside was made up to look a particularly fake kind of “authentic,” and that continued inside.  There were fake cacti and barrels instead of chairs.  Everything was wood or fake wood.  

There were more customers than he expected, too, and a lot of them looked like locals.  That mystery was solved when he got a look at the prices.  The beer was cheap.  

There were a few other monsters, but they kept to their own group and left minutes after Sans and Grillby arrived.  The fact that they had been in there at all was reassuring, though.  

Sans and Grillby grabbed their drinks and sat down.  

“look at this place, grillbz,” Sans said.  "you’d fit in right behind the bar, there.“

Grillby looked the bartender over.  What he had on wasn’t all that different than what Grillby usually wore, except it was in shades of brown. That hat was a little too much, though.  "…every time i was angry…I would destroy that giant hat."

"you’ve got more control than that,” Sans said.  "c'mon.“

"I didn’t say it’d be an accident.”

Sans snickered over his beer.  

–

Two drinks and the gentle buzzing of conversation lulled Sans into a peaceful sleep across the table, in short order.   _In short order._ Grillby hoped he remembered that one to tell Sans later.  

Grillby was in no rush to leave.  Underneath the decorations and the uniforms to draw in tourists, it was just an old local bar.  The bartender remembered what he had ordered, so he just had to gesture at his glass to get another, without trying to figure out how to make the man understand him.  

The other humans seemed less friendly, but they kept to themselves.  He pegged a couple of them as the kind of drunks who liked to use being drunk as an excuse to cause trouble.  He was glad it wasn’t his bar.  They looked like locals, though, so the humans who ran the place were probably used to dealing with them.

Grillby took out his phone and took a quick picture of Sans and posted it for his friends to see.  

“A romantic.  Down to the bone,” he wrote, under it.  Sans would forgive him posting the picture if he added a pun to it.  Not that Sans would care that much about the picture in the first place.  

Toriel sent him a text message: _Greetings!  I hope you are having a lovely vacation._ _Is Sans well?  He_ _looks like he is…dead drunk_ _._ _]_ _;_ _)_

He should not have made the pun.  Toriel would think he was one of them, now.  

_He is in perfectly good health,_ he tried.

_I am very glad to hear it, my dear.  How has the weather been?_

_Fine.  Warm and dry._

_Oh, that is wonderful.  I was worried that the temperature had dropped, since Sans is out cold._

Grillby sighed out loud.  

He discovered that Sans had already posted a couple pictures from their trip.  They were terrible.  He needed to get the two of them in order and take something nice he could frame.  

Sans snored gently into the table.  The humans sitting nearby kept drinking.  One of them pushed the other and there was a brief fight and then raucous laughter.  Grillby was happy they were having a good time, but they were making him nervous.  

He finished his drink and pushed the glass aside.  He reached across the table and poked Sans in the forehead.  It made him snore louder.  

Grillby considered ordering something else, but he was starting to want to leave.  "Sans.  Let’s go.“

Sans mumbled something.

"Hey.  Dude.”  

Grillby looked up, startled.  One of the humans had come over to speak with him.  

“How’s your friend, there?  Not lookin so good.”  He slurred his words. His voice dripped with fake concern.  

“……….fine.”

The human continued fake-cheerfully talking at him.  Another one of his friends, also drunk, came over.  They both seemed to find something funny.  Grillby was sure he was the butt of some joke, but he had no idea what it was.

The humans weren’t doing anything terrible.  They probably just wanted to be obnoxious and see how much they could get away with before one of the people who worked there stopped them from harassing some tourists.  

Grillby had trouble shaking his uneasy feeling.  

“Where’re you from?”

Grillby slowly said the name of the city.  He wanted to leave, but Sans was still sleeping.  He was also a little worried they would follow him out.  

“Now, I know you’re thinking it’s safe around here, for your type, but even a monster like you has to watch out,” the other human said. “Just last week one of you went missing.”  

“The desert’ll just eat anyone alive,” the first one said.  

“……thanks,” Grillby said.  "…for the…warning."

"The desert or whatever it was got ‘im,” the second one said.  

“We don’t know anything _got_ him.  Not for sure.”  

The direction of the conversation partially confirmed Grillby’s worry.  He had started to think he was being paranoid.  He stood up and leaned over to shake Sans awake.  

“quit it, bro,” Sans mumbled.  "taking a break.“  

"Sans.  We’re going.”  

“five more minutes.”  

“You need some help with your friend there?”

“……no……thank you.”  

“Little guy like that can’t weigh much.  

"……no. Thank you."

"Hey.  We’re trying to help out.”  

Sans was delicate.  He could take care of himself, when he was awake, but Grillby would be uncomfortable with even a genuinely kind-hearted stranger touching him when he was this fast asleep.  

The first human reached out towards Sans.

“No.” Grillby shook his head, firm.  

The human rolled his eyes.  

“We’re just trying to help,” said the other one.

“……I understand that.”  Grillby straightened his shoulders. “…but…”  If they would just give him a minute, he would try to explain.  

“Ok, good.”  The human seemed to be taking Grillby not wanting his help as a personal insult.  He reached over and put his hand on Sans’ arm.

That crossed a line.  

Sans mumbled something in his sleep.  

Grillby wasn’t sure if he was angry.  He felt disconnected from himself.  He did not like or trust these particular humans.  They could just be clumsily trying to help, but too drunk to actually care if their help was wanted.  Or they could be trying to go outside with some monsters so they could beat them up away from the watchful eyes of the bartender.  He still remembered, clearly, the incident at the movie theater.  There were other incidents, too, when he was the only monster on public transportation, surrounded by humans.

Either seemed equally possible, at the moment.  Whichever it was, Grillby was done.  

The bar was filled with fire.  Someone screamed.  Grillby leaned over the humans, stepping in the space between them and Sans.  " **Don’t touch him.** “  

The humans fell back.  One of them, drunk and stumbling, fell onto the floor.  

What was he doing?  Grillby pulled back.  Everyone was looking at him.  He got out his wallet and tossed a large tip onto his table.  Nothing had burned, but he was going to feel bad about the disruption later.

He hoisted Sans up and fled.  

"what?”  Sans mumbled, once they were outside.  "i’m bein kidnapped.“

Grillby set him down on the ground a short way down the road, leaning him against a lamp post.  

"skele-napped.” He opened an eye.  "wait, that’s what i was tryin’ to do.“ He rubbed at his face.  "man.  i was out.”  

“Are you drunk?”  

“nah.” Sometimes beer knocked Sans out before he had a chance to get drunk.

“Can we go back to the hotel?”  He had been planning on taking a taxi if Sans was drunk.  He didn’t trust Sans to not take them back to their actual house by accident when he had too many.  

“uh. k.”  Sans stretched and used Grillby as a prop to stand up. “that place was a bust, huh.”

Grillby shook his head.  "Some of the humans made me nervous.“

"ok.”  They took a few steps and were back inside their hotel room.  Sans fell back onto the huge bed and closed his eyes.  

 

\--

 

Grillby sat down on the edge of the bed.  

“ok,” Sans said, after a few minutes.  "how nervous we talking?  you don’t usually pick me up and haul me around when i’m sleeping."

"I…overreacted, I think.”

“you’ve got a lotta experience guessing what drunks are planning,” Sans said.  He sat up, groaning, like the effort to move was too much.  “all right, babe.  what’s up?”  

“There’s a stain on the ceiling.”  

“look, trying to distract me with the best joke i’ve ever heard isn’t going to work.”  He shuffled over and put his head on Grillby’s shoulder.

Grillby looked at him.  

Sans winked.  "so, what went down?"

”…that chip you dropped.“

"oh, thanks.”  Sans leaned over the bed and grabbed the potato chisp.  It finished its long journey to his mouth, with some added dust for seasoning.  "lemme see.  what’s left?  what’s the right thing to ask, here?  c'mon, pal, give me a little _direction_."

"I may have…lost control,” he admitted.

“uh. with those humans?”  Grillby saw the lights in his eyes flick to the left, worried, but he couldn’t hear it in his voice.  "oh well.  they’re, uh…okay, right?"

"I don’t know.”  

“ok. ok, let’s see.  i’ll go check.  then, uh, if things are bad, we’ll figure it out.”  

“…what?”  Grillby didn’t think he had done anything bad enough that it would have to be “figured out.”  He wasn’t sure how upset they would be with him.

“did it take me long to get up?  maybe we should skip it and just get outta here.”  

“……what?”  What did Sans think he had done?  "They’re alive."

"ok.  great.  but you think the cops’ll still be on you?  how much hp damage are we talkin’ here.”

“……none?”   The one man had maybe fallen on his butt hard enough to lose a hit point, but he doubted it.  

“oh.”  Sans paused.  "like, you just spooked ‘em?“  

"Yes?   Where were you planning on taking us?”  

“what?  lighten up, grillby.  i was just kidding.”  

“…were we hiding in the desert…until the police gave up?”  Grillby was briefly amused.  It was almost sweet how ready Sans seemed to be to run from the cops with him.  

“ok, let’s quit joking around a sec and you can tell me what actually happened." 

"…quit…"

"yeah, i know.  me, saying that?  we gotta pause to let that sink in before you go ahead and just get it over with and tell me.  ok.  good.  time’s up.”  

Grillby sighed.  Sans was actually worried about him.  "No one’s dead."  He explained what happened.  

"eh, they were being jerks, and you didn’t hurt anyone, so it doesn’t sound like a big deal.”  

“………it _is_.”  

“you do that whole intimidate thing to drunks all the time.  it’s pretty funny.”  

Grillby didn’t say anything.  

“if i repeat 'it’s not a big deal’ over and over, will it start working?”

He shook his head.  

“maybe i should try somethin else.”  He was leaning against Grillby’s arm.  He closed his eyes.  "ok.  why’s it a big deal?"

"It’s not.”  

Grillby thought he could hear the sound of teeth grinding.  After a minute, Sans said, “ok.”  

It wasn’t.  It just _felt_ like it was a big deal.  

“oh well.”  Sans bumped his face against Grillby’s cheek.  He made a fake smooching noise.  "it’ll work itself out."

Sans started to move away, to lay back down, but Grillby grabbed his arm. Sans looked at his hand, curious.  

"……wait."

"k.”

“I’m fine.  I just…acted without thinking.”  

“yeah.”

“I don’t like to lose control.”  He shrugged.  “…that’s…obvious.”

“i’m shocked, here.  but, uh. i mean.  no one got hurt, right?”

He nodded.  

“i mean, you, uh, 'lost control’ and no one took a hp hit, so that’s pretty good.  unless you’re planning on just giving up and not caring about anything, i think that’s the best you can do.”  

“…right.”

“and, hey, someone was putting their weird flesh hands on the frail, kinda sickly guy you married, right?  that’s gonna knock anyone out of whack.  i’d be sitting on the sulking side of the bed, too, if that happened to me.”  

“…I’m not…”  He had to laugh, a little.  "…you _are_ …delicate."

"yup.  had to pay some price for all these good looks, though.  it’s like how it’s tough to get in a state of mind where you’ve got your highest defense without taking a hit to attack.”  

“…your health is poor…because you are so handsome?”

“you got it.”  He was staring up at him, wide eye-socketed and innocent.  

“……that explains so much.”

“right?”  He winked.  "and then i went and met a guy even hotter than i am."

Grillby considered disagreeing with him and calling that impossible.  Sans was a very good looking skeleton, after all.  He couldn’t deny that he was infinitely more hot, however.  "…true.  We should be models."

"yeah.  i can be like one of those guys on poles they keep in science labs, and you can stand right at the center of a solar system diorama.”

“…Sans, but that sounds like…a job.”  

“shoot.  you’re right.  scratch that.”  He was laughing.  "thanks, grillbz.  you saved me again."

"I guess I want to do that.”  This wasn’t really the “sulking side” on the bed, was it?  He had a side he usually slept on, wherever they were, so when he sat up to think, he ended up in the same spot.  Was he supposed to climb over Sans for some variety?  

“that’s nice and all, but what i really need saving from right now is being stuck sleeping by myself on my honeymoon.”  

If Grillby turned him down, Sans would pout and make jokes to cover that he was hurt, and then he would go to sleep in a bad mood.  Grillby was still uneasy about what he had done, and how he had done it before he even really thought about it, but that uneasiness wasn’t going to disappear in a few hours. 

He would work it out, but trying to do that immediately was just another thoughtless, dangerous action.  He was trying to _avoid_ those.

Grillby shifted away slightly and put his hands on Sans' shoulders.  He pushed, gently, showing he wanted him to lay down without actually having to talk or shove him enough to actually move him.  

Sans fell back.  "augh.  that’s it.  glass bones sans is done for, now.  tell my bro…he’s pretty cool…"  He put his arm over his eyes.  "put my dust in the salt shakers at grillby’s.”

“…now I can inherit…your fortune?”  

“i shoulda known.  this was the plan from the start.”  

“Yes.”  Grillby took his shoes off and climbed onto the bed.  "…all your…“  It took him a minute to think about what Sans owned that he valued.  "…socks.  And…your trombone?"  His joke shirts?  He had kept the same mostly empty bag of chisps in their fridge for so many months now, maybe it was an artifact Sans cherished.  Grillby knelt over him on the bed, knees on either side of Sans’ legs.  "…they’re mine."

"aw, man.  they were always, yours, grillbz.  i didn’t know you wanted 'em.  what’s mine is yours, right?  it’s been a few months since i ran the socks through the laundry, so you’d better get on that.”

“What was that?  …through the…garbage disposal?”

“grillbz, i hate to be the guy to tell you this, but it’s pretty obvious you don’t have ears sometimes.”  

“What was that?”  He tipped his head.  "You want me to ignore what you’re saying and kiss you?  That would be…rude."

"oh, good.  guess you _can_ hear me.”  He uncovered his eyes, and he was looking directly at Grillby.  The lights in the black circles of his sockets pierced straight through the space between them.  Sans was wide awake.  "it’s okay if you want to be a little rude with me.  i’ll put up with it."

Grillby leaned down.  He remembered the first time he had kissed Sans, and how oddly solid he had felt.  Grillby had dated monsters who weren’t fire elementals, before that, but Sans had been so different than them, too.  Now, the way he felt was comforting and familiar.  Had there really been a point when he thought kissing him was strange?  

"uh, you’re ok, right?”  Sans asked, quiet.  

“Hm.  I’m fine.”

“i mean, maybe i changed the subject before it was a good idea.”  

Grillby settled down on the bed next to him.  "I don’t like how I reacted.  But no one was hurt.“  

"yeah.”

“You missed one of the humans falling on his butt.”

“oh, man, no.  i did?  heh.  and i thought that place was a complete bust after they didn’t have one a those bulls to ride on.”

“…the look on his face…was priceless.”  

“that’s what i get for nodding off, i guess.  i coulda gotten it on video.”

Grillby kissed Sans’ cheek.  Sans tipped his head, and Grillby kissed down his vertebrae to his shoulder.  

“so it’s all right,” Sans pressed.  He closed his eyes.  

“No, but I don’t mind being distracted.”  

“well. anything to help.”  He laughed.  


	5. Chapter 5

“you done yet?”  Sans sat on the end of the bed in his underwear.  His good clothes were neatly set out next to him.

Grillby was completely dressed, typing on his laptop.  He glanced at Sans. “…are you?”  

“what?  you don’t think i’m ready?”  

“No shirt, no shoes, no service.”  

Sans sighed.  "yeah.  i’m on it.  but, still.  how’s it going?"

"…almost done."  He was writing an online review for the theme bar.  He didn’t want to give it _too_ low a score.  He kept quibbling with himself over the number of stars it deserved.  The drinks had been fine, and inexpensive.  He couldn’t completely ignore the locals making him uncomfortable, however, in a bar meant to attract tourists.  Maybe three stars?  

"you put what i said, right?”  

Grillby added:   _It was ‘bull’ that there was no mechanical bull._  If they let him edit his review, he would remove that later when Sans wasn’t paying attention.  "Yes."  

Sans stuck his head in, checking to make sure he wasn’t lying.  "nice.”

“It’s done.  Get dressed.”  

“yeah, yeah.”  

Grillby called for a taxi while Sans put himself together.  Sans’ license had gone missing.  Sans swore he remembered the exact cactus he had left it next to, but it seemed to be completely gone.  Well, they only had one more day left.  Sans could get it replaced when they got back.  

Sans gave up around the last four buttons on his shirt, and Grillby finished making the effort for him.  Sans was only dressing up to make Grillby happy, so he didn’t mind helping.  

“…very handsome,” Grillby said.  He leaned down and kissed Sans on the top of his head.  

“all the positive reinforcement in the world ain’t gonna make me enjoy dressing up, grillbz,” Sans said.  "you been reading paps’ psych books, again?"  

"They all said 'kiss your husband when he looks handsome.’”  

“heh.”  Sans looked down.  "jeez, i hope not.  what kinds of books my bro reading these days?"

Grillby fixed Sans’ cuffs, not bothering to answer.  

"there.”  Sans undid his top button and rolled his shoulders.  "this place better be worth all this work." 

"You didn’t even button your own shirt.”

“yeah, you must be tuckered out after helping me out like this.”  

Grillby went back on his laptop while they waited for the taxi.  Sans hung onto his shoulder, spying on what he was doing.  Grillby posted the most recent pictures from their trip.  "We should get them to take one…at the restaurant."

"sure.”  Sans was already rumpled, five minutes after he finished dressing.  

Sans went quiet, and when Grillby turned to ask him something, he realized Sans was staring at him.

Sans answered the question Grillby didn’t bother to vocalize.  "you’re in a better mood.“  

He nodded.  "Mostly.”

“kinda, uh, perked up.  i bet you’re looking forward to the plane.”  

“Yes.”

“gonna come home one day and you’ll be cheatin with – what’s their name? tsunderplane.”  

“Too young for me.  And it’s not the same.”  

“yeah.  last i heard, they’re in college, but–”

“…??” Grillby started, in alarm.

“uh. time sure flies, right?”

“ _College_?”

“yep.”   Sans reached over him and messed around on Grillby’s computer until he found Tsunderplane’s high school graduation pictures.  

“…I’m so…old.”  

“nah.  hey, look, if i drag their picture, i can make 'em fly around the screen.”  Sans was almost hanging over Grillby’s shoulder.  It was difficult to remember he was upset about his age while someone crawled all over him trying to use his computer.  

“……” Grillby stared at his laptop.  His phone buzzed, letting him know the taxi had pulled in.  He made brushing motions at Sans’ face until he climbed off of him.  When they stood up, he noticed both of their outfits were disorganized and oddly creased.  Grillby quickly fixed himself in the mirror and went after Sans, but Sans was already out the door and heading to the car.  

Well, he’d done his best.  Grillby decided he shouldn’t overtire himself, since he was ancient.  God, he remembered taking a niece to the candy store and getting caught in line behind Tsunderplane.  They’d been around the same age as his niece, back then.  That was  _how_ many years ago?  God.  That niece was an adult now, too.  

“man, what happened to your mood in the two minutes it took you to get out here?”  Sans asked.  

“It’s nothing.”

“thinking about those creeps at the bar, again?”

That _would_ be a less embarrassing reason.  "…no.  I remembered one of my nieces is having a baby."

”…uh. congrats?“

"I’m a great-uncle.”

“you already were, right?”

“Yes.”

“i mean, there’s a lot of years between you and your mom’s oldest.”

“I know.”

They got into the car.  Sans took out his cell phone and held it out in front of both of them.  He started typing “how long does a midlife crisis last” into a search engine.  

“Shut up,” Grillby said.

“hey.  i didn’t say a word.”

Grillby got out his phone and typed “Shut up” into his text to speech app.  He held the phone next to Sans’ head when it spoke for him.  

“neither did you, though, huh?”  

“I know I’m being…”  He trailed off.  Ridiculous?  Dramatic?  He should be enjoying the last of his vacation.  "…but… _college_ _?"_

"nah, i don’t mind.”  Sans thought he was hilarious when he got like this.  Sans patted him on the shoulder.  "but i can’t wait 'til you’re actually old.  it’s gonna be loads of laughs."

"Maybe it will be out of my system by then.”  

“heh.  hey, grillbz.  you’ll be my _old flame_ ,” Sans said, nudging him.  

Grillby played the text on his phone, again, but he was laughing.  He didn’t want to think about how terrible his sense of humor would be in twenty years.  

“get it?  maybe i should repeat it again.  it’s such a good joke, maybe i should say it every day from now on.”  

Grillby pressed his index finger over Sans’ mouth.  "Shhhhhh."

"you’ve probably got fifty years left, so that’ll be eighteen thousand, two hundred and fifty more chances for me to make that joke.  oh.  add a few for leap years.”  

Grillby didn’t want to say it, but he liked that joke.  Fifty years was a long time for Sans to be looking ahead.  He had been letting himself do that, lately.  

The whole trip they had been talking about more of their long term plans.  Sans was acting like the future was something he was going to experience, and that he should think about and plan for.  Of course there was risk in that, but there was for everyone, wasn’t there?  

“man, what’s that look?  if you’re gonna cry about it, guess i don’t have to do it once a day.” 

He shook his head and fixed Sans’ rumpled collar for him.  

“twice a day is way more romantic.”  

“…how many times is that?  …over fifty years?”  Grillby asked. “Twenty times?”

“wow.  got it in one.”

They pulled up to the restaurant.  "We need to take the picture before it’s too late.“  

"if people don’t see something spilled on my shirt, they’ll figure you photoshopped me in from some other picture.”

“…that’s a good idea.”  

Sans climbed out of the car and stretched.  Grillby walked around to him and Sans held out his arm and winked.  Grillby fixed Sans’ cuff again before he took Sans’ arm.  

“it’s a lost cause, buddy,” Sans said.  

“I will never give up.”  

“and i admire that, but if you keep fussing over me, there’s a point where someone’s gonna end up sitting on a pile of ketchup packets and we’re gonna be going home early.”  

“…but…”

“yep.  ketchup all over it.”  

“Then keep _yourself_ together.”  

Sans sighed.  "guess that’s fair.  until the picture, anyways."

"Until the picture.”

Sans managed to keep food off of himself until they convinced their waiter to take their picture.  Two minutes afterward, Grillby noticed a grease stain, probably from butter, on Sans’ shirt pocket.  He’d kept his promise exactly long enough.  

Sans’ collar was half-popped in the photo, and the shirt somehow looked too big even though it was fitted for him.  He looked happy.  Grillby knew he was going to get it framed.  


End file.
